Top 10 Telling Signals That The Boss is Bullying You
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Workplace Bullying Is More Common Than Assumed
An employer may admit that it has one rogue supervisor, but most companies will not admit that bullying in the workplace is a widespread problem. This is why Zogby's 2007 poll has not gotten the attention it deserves -- because it proves that U.S. workplaces are deeply infected with the disease of bullying supervisors, but businesses fear the treatment more than the disease.
Zogby's survey found that workplace bullies caused actual damage to the health of one third of Americans at work today. In other words, more than 54,000,000 employees have been severly bullied at work. To make the issue more personal, think of two friends: one of you has been abused so badly at work that he or she needed medical care.
Why does this continue?
It continues because it's legal.
The U.S. Supreme Court has specifically said that courts will not get into the business of enforcing a "civility code" in the nation's workplaces. With the law turning a blind eye toward civility and respect at work, bosses are free to push their employees to produce more and more by employing threats, humiliation, and fearmongering. It may be immoral, but none of it is illegal.
Some companies take a long term approach and reognize that rampant abuse of employees at their company will only increase the number of employee resignations, decrease the number of employee applications, and grow the use of sick time and workers' compensation claims.
If you are reading this, however, chances are that you are not working at one of the precious few companies who does take the long view. Instead, you at least suspect that you are being taken advantage of at work.
More likely, you know in your heart that you are suffering through workplace abuse but you have been denying it; some people fear that taking action against a bully will be even more difficult to endure than the everyday abuse that's been grinding them down.
Many Employers Ignore Bullying Problems
If you are one in either of these groups, take a look through this list of the Top 10 Telling Indicators That The Boss is Bullying You. After going over the list click on the survey at the end to report how many of the signs you've experienced in your own work life:
- Your boss consistently blames you for the problems at work, while boasting to others that his or her own skills are responsible for the good outcomes
- You've found that your boss scheduled key meetings knowing full well you had a conflict at that time
- Your boss sabotages your success by claiming to be "too busy" to sign off on your work or give you needed feedback, making your work incomplete or late
- You are kept out meetings your supervisor schedules, your work station is moved further away from your supervisor, or you are conspicuously left out of work lunches
- You learn that your supervisor or someone in his or her peer group is gossiping about your work, or even your life
- When upset or stressed your manager will bring up a mistake you made long ago (even years ago), as a way of shifting focus from the current problem to something that was your fault
- At night and on the weekends you feel completely exhausted and have no energy for pursuits you used to enjoy
- A co-worker is allowed by your boss to put you down, insult your work, and humiliate you with co-workers present, or, your boss does these things to you directly
- You feel like every day your manager only gives you criticisms, but your performance reviews are always positive and you are know at work as a good worker
- You long for each weekend, but you are full of anxiety and even become sick with dread the evening before the work week starts
Readers' Poll: How Many Have You Experienced?
How Many of the 10 Signals of Being Bullied at Work Have You Experienced?
See results without votingStrategies For Stopping a Hostile Workplace
Ranking Your Results
So what should you do if this quiz indicates that you have been the victim of a work place bully? First, although the quiz asks what you've experienced in your whole career, the need to take action depends upon how many of these indications you are currently experiencing.
- 1 to 3 of the indicators: Your boss needs counseling or Prozac
- 4 to 6 of the indicators: You need to prepare yourself for a confrontation. Learn your legal rights which are far more powerful than you probably realize
- 7 to 9 of the indicators: You are in the thick of a drawn out conflict with your boss. You must learn all of your legal rights now to fight back against this hostile work environment. Also consider seeing your doctor for time off work to decompress.
- All 10 of the indicators: You've already quit or been terminated, but you still have rights. Be sure not to let the EEOC's 180 day deadline pass for filing a complaint, and make sure to immediately file for both unemployment benefits and the new subsidized COBRA health benefits continuation program. Also, stop and smile because you are free of that awful place!
Start Fighting Back
Are You Bullied by Your Boss?
- Get Hostile Work Environment Help
Get the Undercover Lawyer's FREE "7-Secrets of Work Law" e-mail course. Learn how to fight back against a bully boss and end workplace abuse using an easy to understand, step by step system.
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this information is dynamite! it is a shame the American working public do not know their rights when it comes to a hostile working environment or the ever popular Boss who has it in for you no matter what you do! Why don't they teach this in school-instead of biology?!
Thanks Debra! That would be sort of funny if Undercover Lawyer was a textbook author for school children. But you are right -- college kids, for instance, are trained to be good employees but never taught what their legal rights are as employees. Hopefully we can spread the word via the 'net.
This was the sort of harrassemt Isuffer from my supervisor, She also lied about my performance after 35 years of service I was dismissed because of a temporay who lied. Why dose it takes the eeoc so long to solve a case?
E Green,
I'm glad to hear that you did file with the EEOC, even though their slowness is frustrating you. You probably know that it's CRUCIAL to fiie in time with the EEOC after being wrongfully terminated, or you can't fight through them or the federal courts.
To answer your question, the EEOC has many offices that are totally overwhelmed right now with complaints. They are supposed to hiring more case investigators, but hiring is never a quick process. If it's been more than six weeks since you've heard anything at all, I would politely and professionally call and ask for a status report. Thank them for their time and efforts and be sure to say something like "I know you're probably swimming in employee complaints right now, but I wondered if I could have just two minutes of your time for an update on my case." Believe me, they have plenty of people being rude and mean to them on the phone right now. If you are nice and polite, you will stand out in their mind and they will remember you.
What happened to you, being dismissed after 35 years, is outrageous. I so hope you get the justice you deserve.
At my georgia medical college, the EEOC director reports to the Provost and our Dean. No conflict of interest there! We had an Indian faculty member who other faculty were allowed, or directed by the department chair, to insult her native dress when she wore it, and even to try to trick her into eating meat (she was Hindu and a vegetarian.) She complained and EEOC did nothing except give them a heads up, and the harassment got worse.
This dept. chair should have been fired long ago, but managed to get tenure a few years ago. She lures new faculty in with the offer of tenure-track. Then as soon as they come, she sets about to sabotage them getting tenure. She forces them to write grant applications, then during her "review" changes their name from being the P.I. and puts hers down instead, even though she knows nothing about their research. I could write a book.
I have left employment due to the work enviorment.
I could no longer con't to work 1-12 hours a day with out a break. I was salary so there was no time clock. When I brought this to the owners attention they stated if I got my work done than I could take a break. When I tried to leave early they would call a last minute meeting. Meeting were scheduled when I had asked off for personal time with my childrens activities. 2 business were housed in the same building I was asked to do work for the other company I did not mind when I had extra time. But when it interfered with my main job and I spoke up I was considered not a team player.
The owner started to ignore me send mean emails.
I tried I asked I emailed to try and fix all of this but now they are fighting me on unemployment.
What can I do?
M you can fight to get unemployment. Basically you want to say that you were were "constructively discharged" (forced to resign) by the company repreatedly violating wage and hour laws and retaliating against you for speaking up about those violations. Also, you can file a wage and hour complaint with your state's dept of labor to recover some money for not getting breaks or lunches. I'm really not supposed to promote my site in these comments, but you can find an article about filing for unemployment on my site which I think you would find very helpful.
I have just been "laid off" I was replaced by another preschool director 2 1/2 weeks before my boss laid me off. Can he do that? He tried to write me up time after time. one week later he had a nervous break down, can I get him for wrongful termination, that he was not stable when he laid me off? Do I have a chance to be re-instated?
Debbie, Take a look at my other Hubs that explain employment at will. Although your boss may have acted unreasonably, the fact that he was unreasonable does not make your termination illegal. However, if you were "laid off" and then your position was filled by someone else 2 1/2 weeks later, it certainly looks like the boss had a plan to replace you the whole time, and just didn't want to tell you what the real reason was. I would suggest you learn a bit more about your employment rights. However, an appeal of sympathy to whomever is running the pre-school while this bad boss is out is certainly worthwhile.
I worked for a very large and repected non profit. It was discovered the officers in charge had been responsible for misappropriation of funds for the constituency of which we served. I reported this to a board member after I had notified the headquarters and they refused do anything about it.
After that happened the harrassment was so intense I went to the EEOC as you had stated and provided the investigator with a lot of documentation, however, my complaint was difficult to process due to the stipulations in the state of where I live. I ended up with a settlement from this charity which has millions upon millions, it was the worst experience of my professional life, if the trusting public only knew what I know...
Your blog and post helped me, otherwise, I would have been clearly out of luck. Thanks you.
This is a great article! I experienced these problems at my former job. The biggest decision I am facing right now is if I should file a complaint with the EEOC or the U.S. Department of Labor. Should I do both? I quit before my boss had the chance to fire me.
Disgusted, I am so glad my articles could help you through such an awful situation. If you would like to talk more about what happened with more privacy you can reach me through my profile here on HubPages.
kung fu librarian: Thanks for writing! Not knowing anything about your complaint, I would say EEOC. EEOC enforces Title VII discrimination claims. Also, beware the 180 deadline, and less if you worked for the feds (like Library of Congress or something).
THANK GOD that I found your website! I now see that I have been at the hand of a bully boss who is using my co-workers to create a hostile workplace enviroment.
Pshippey58, Thanks for letting me know you find the site helpful and extra thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.
Thanks for sharing the information. I’m going to share this article in my network of friends and relatives. I have given a stumble to your post
Wow, thanks Harry! I appreciate that a lot.
Hi, I just started at a company as one of four assistants to a manager who I am finding is a "bully boss." I have found there has been lots of emotional abuse and turnover in the position before I came. I am subjected to being yelled at over ridiculous things - many times over things that happened before I even started. I am given an unreasonable amount of work and then being interrupted by "bully boss" every few minutes and sent on wild goose chases that waste time. The work is piling up and other assistants have been fired for not keeping up with the demands! The assistants I work with are unhappy over the treatment they receive as well and I was warned that it will not get any better. With the current local economy I feel I have little choice but to stay. Previous employees who have gone to HR have been retaliated against and eventually were fired or left. I have begun documenting daily all the incidents and keeping demeaning and degrading e-mails. I will also study the company's HR policy and will employ the "Professional Persona" advice given in another article on this site (it is actually similar to the tactics I already use to deal with "Bully Boss). But after researching the law I am discouraged. Myself and previous employees who suffer physically the chest pains, stomach aches and headaches brought on by the onslaught of her attacks, do not fall under any protected class. We are all young women - but not all - no disabilities - and race/nationality is not an issue. Is there any other avenue to put an end to this? Since this is causing stress-related physical illness - can we submit a medical related claim?
few of the points are horrible..
I cant believe a boss can intentionally do #6
Kindly post a hub about what an employee can do if he/she finds such boss.
Great article thanks for the info.
At the company I work at we have a district manager who is great at sales but terrible with personel. He recently taunted an employee about a medical condition in front of other employees and then wrote the employee up for having to leave work early due to the condition despite the store manager giving permission for the employee to go home.
The worst part of it is that this DM has violated several rules and regs in the past and not been written up or in the case of wrecking a company car and being ticketed not being fired and now employees are terrified and upset and the employee who was taunted is threatening to sue if the DM is not fired.
I believe the employee has a case as I am HR yet the boss just lets him continue to do these things. I have no idea what to do. Anyone who has spoken out about this DM has been fired eventually as the DM creates a hostile work environment for them and then writes them up until termination is the only option.
I have not idea what to do. I feel that if this behavior is left unchecked it could cause the whole company to go under. We are already losing the best managers and employees due to this. Over 40 people will lose their jobs if we close.
Any suggestions??
I was call wet back , from my supervisor I told my mng about it he didn't care then the next day my sup said that I was a lie and everybody I guess bolive him , even if I went home sick that day , I went to the doctor next day and she said that I have high blood pressure and she put me on depression medication ,,, I was offended 2 weeks ago and now no body talks to me no more at work. But. The. Eeoc. Is doing a investigation but I don't know if I have a good case ..... Can some one help what can I do about this problem ???????
I am not sure if this helps. A few Manic-Depressive people have burned me but this is the first time I have a Boss that is manic-depressive. Manic-depressives are very smart and very good at manipulation any blame away from themselves. I do not like politics or mind games.
I am not quick witted, and I am not a quick worker, so it is very easy for people to manipulate my enviroment. My short-term memory bites. Yet I am very good at making customers happy by solving problems. I just started by new job in Feb. Being a Pisces does not help when a boss start having you list your tasks you've done every half hour. Feels like someone is Horse whipping me. Anxiety and dread is here and I have not felt this way in over 15 years. I am an optimist and strong willed, but this situation is bringing willies to my elbows.
I have been increasingly bullied mostly since my boss got a gigantic promotion which seems to have caused her to think 1) she can treat me (her assistant) any way she pleases and believe me she does and 2) she is a Really Important Person and 3) I am a doormat.
It escalated quickly and I was crying in my car every time she attacked me for a missing space or something equally as consequential. Meanwhile, she is missing BIG stuff of great consequence but that is another thing-
Anyway, I finally couldn't take it and felt on the brink of not being able to work there- literally feeling sick all weekend much less actually going there- waiting for the attack. I went to the senior admin officer who (as you desribe HR people) listened sympathetically. She encouraged me to go to HR. Which I did not- she is not HR. A strange thing happened to me. I expected to be public enemy number one- pack your bags, retaliation time. But it did not happen. She STOPPED all her overt bullying behavior cold. She still has left me out of all projects including a giant project for 5 years coming- in which she promoted a clerk to team leader and left me out entirely. I felt so tossed out- then she screamed and yelled and shook her hand at me, I was just overwhelmed. So she has been reigned in. It is like a stay of execution. She can't fire me right now- (morelikely to kill me in my sleep). She cannot shriek at me and shake her hand at me evidently has been told that is a hostil work environment. But she STILL leaves me out of all work- except the most menial humiliating (make the binder labels match. tossing empty coffee cup on my desk etc.) but she has stopped the worst for now. She glares at me and I expect to drop dead from her hate- but that is STILL better than before. Reading your article I realize that I am the only member of a particular religion in the entire department. That is probably not really the reason for her nasty narcistic bullying behavior- but it sure is odd. THe place is FULL of 25 year old blond girls with long hair- they are nice and bright- but definitely the look and it sure isn't what I am. So I am job hunting furiously and still stunned- WHY WHY WHY. I am so mad and hurt and wondering what I did- everyone else seems to be doing great there- they are getting lots of opportunities to grow- not me. I'm stuck on an island surrounded by one alligator- with no future no growth at all. Suggestions welcome. Plus I'm 57 and in no mood to start over. But what choice do I have? I can't make her be nice to me- make her offer me growth and opportunity- apparently she has to stop shrieking but does not have to treat me like everybody else. CRAP.
Feedback welcome dds35day@netscape.net
I endured over ten years of hostile environment in my state job, but it really got bad the last four years when our new exec director brought in a real Nazi buddy of hers to supervise staff and my old nemises, the deputy director and his confidential secretary, set about to sabotage and undermine my credibility just when I thought I was finally getting out of the hole. Well, after disciplinary action, diagnosis of Bipolar and ADHD, then Civil Rights and EEOC complaints (that found in THEIR favor) I went into extensive outpatient treatment for two months. When I came back I found that the Nefarious Nazi was rejecting all my work and sending me curt nasty emails about how I'm not getting my work done properly, and then for the next three years they failed me on my performance evals. I was told that back in 2006 the exec director asked HR what would be the steps to take to have me removed...thus the three failed PAR's. So this summer I got wind that they were going to shoot the final bomb, a termination notice Violation so I left on medical leave and went back into therapy, this time a PTSD program. While there, I decided to go with it and applied for disability retirement, which was just approved..YIPPEE...but I still must go back and complete "seperation docs" and clean out my cube. I'm worried that they may ask me to sign a confidnentiality agreement...but I dont want to be silent. I'm thinking that there's nothing they can do to me at this point short of retaliation. What if I refuse to sign the confidentiality agreement? Is that within my rights? In the meantime, I'm enjoying my freedom and stressfree life. I've enrolled back into the Master's degree program I started in 2006 and am looking forward to a happy future.
I don't know if you can help me, but here goes. I have been working in the financial sector for about 4 years now. The first place that I worked for was a bank. The manager and co-workers were fine, until the manager decided to show everybody's sales results to create "friendly competition". The results that I yeild from my work were superior. The coworkers did not like it. I was able to be nominated by the director for Best Employee of the Year" for my efforts within my first year working there. The manager worked there for nine years and had never had a nomination. The manager started to create a toxic work environment by getting other coworkers to gang up against me, spreading mallicious rumors, telling lies. The manager even threatened to take away my job. I had tried was other "helpful" websites said like documenting occurances, maintaining my work, notifying HR about the situation - but to no avail, requested a transfer to another department but repeatedly denied. My final resolution was to leave. I made sure that I paid out of my own pocket for all the training courses I needed to get my next job at a credit union. Now when I started at the credit union, everything seemed great until they found out that I work at a bank. Come to find out the position that I was hired for, others tried to obtain it and were denied. They were peeved about this. Since I did not do the hiring, I felt it was not my problem. I did not need to justify my having the position to anyone, my merits spoke for themselves. Well, it gradually esculated from there. My first group work with coworkers to do a quarterly sales campaign. There were 3 in the group. One of the coworkers felt that she could omit pertinent information and would try to show me up at every turn. I did not return her gift, but made sure that I kept abreast of everything I needed to know and sought outside resources. Then this woman got the other 2 coworkers to collude with her by contributing little to the team. As I realised the tactic, I started to pull back my ideas, mention them in front of them and the manager (when the manager was present), and sent emails of my ideas cc'ing the manager to create a paper trail. When I asked that there be equal distribtution of work on the team, the rumors spread that I was not "nice". Will the ring leader ended up leaving the workplace for another job and all was well. Until...another coworker started spreading rumours that I was "complaining" about my position. I had never spoke to this coworker or relayed any type of distress about my position whatsoever. I noticed that my managers in speaking with me would say things such as "well complaining is not the best way to go about things as you could catch more flies with honey than vinegar". I arranged a meeting with my branch manager to find out what she thought about my performance on the job and to clear the air. As part of the discussion I had told the manager about the coworker spreading lies and even advised the branch manager about what the coworker said about her - gossip that was said about her before I even came on board. I did not hear my name associated with the word "complaint" ever since. Then another coworker who was hired on a 6mth contract came to work in my department. She had other plans - like getting a permanent position at my expense. This coworker would claim that I was incompetent, tell lies about me, claim that I was stealing sales - it was horrendous. At first, the branch manager seemed to believe her, then after a while the manager saw how she really was as the same coworker would gossip about the manager and act nasty towards her. That coworker is gone. Then another coworker who I thought was decent had joined forces with the one on contract when she noticed I was getting more sales than her. She started claiming the same things i.e. stealing sales and accusing me. I have gradually reduced contact with her. Another employee joined the team as the receptionist and was too a gossip and started to spread lies based on what the formerly decent coworker said about me. Now they too are spreading lies that I steal sales. I am a hard working person of integrity. When they invite me anywhere, I don't go in fear that they will spread more lies. I don't know what to do. I see that they do not like the fact that I am a honest and hardworking. The receptionist would purposely give me closed accounts while giving the backstabber sales. I still bring in more sales despite this. On friday the receptionist left the job. But I have the other coworker to deal with? And she is recruiting other coworkers. Help!
You guys should look into Scarlatto, its part of the NYC Restaurant Group located around Times Square. The Assistant Manager there talks everyone down, the workers are over worked and there is NO sense of respect in that environment. That supervisor doesn't even have the decency to show some respect to his customers. Very rude and pretty much does whatever he wants. Name? Miri.
If you are being bullied, the trick is to not take it personally. There is nothing wrong with you. If it wasn't you it would be someone else.
In my 30 years of working I have had the misfortune to work for or witness the antics of several serial bullies.
Unfortunately, they won't change, if their target leaves, they are always on the lookout for the next one.
So your choices are:
- You can leave
- You can build up a case against them and report them to someone more senior
- You can stand your ground and keep your head down and given time they will move onto someone else or leave.
I've usually stood my ground, and that person usually leaves to move up the career ladder - I always feel sorry for the people who now have to put up with them.
Hey I'm being bullied and racially harassed at i can't take it anymore and it's really stressing me out i want to quit but i don't know if i could get unemployment from it
MGomez077 2 years ago
I'm not sure whether to be depressed or encouraged by this, but it IS informative. Guess I'm not alone, at least.